Thou, Betrayer

Thou, Betrayer...

If heaven is filled with people like you, I'd rather rot in hell a thousand times. You said you loved me, you worthless traitor. Fuck you, everything you stand for, the air in your lungs, and the ground on which you stand. I never want to see you again. I cannot believe I gave myself to you...and to think I mourned the loss of you? I can scarcely bear this burden. My chest feels like a ticking bomb. Faster and faster my heart beats with this pain, waiting only to explode, bringing me to my end. I suppose you would like that, so that you are free to be with her. It is customary for me to reserve such emotions as hate for excruciatingly evil or otherwise loathsome circumstances, and yet...I deem you unworthy. You, sir, are merely one of my regrets; not even my greatest failure. But what is this vast emptiness I now feel?  What did I ever do to you, that gave you any indication that you have the right to treat me this way? I dressed like Princess Zelda for you. I did things for you that I am ashamed of. And why? Because I DID love you. What am I to think, now that you lied to me? Love is but a word that people can use, to influence others, to bend them to their will... Apart from my time, effort, and money, I spent my heart on you. I trusted you with what little I had left. With each new sin, I feel more guilty, with each new trespass, I feel more ashamed. With the shame of losing it to someone who didn't love me, there came a certain self-loathing that has, over time, faded into the background, much similar to the ticking of a clock that has been in the family for generations, still working. With the death of my most beloved....the most innocent of all...I feel every day a guilt that one such as you could never fathom. With the sin of being with my second boyfriend, I live with constant disgrace; just another of his many conquests. But with your betrayal, I find myself empty, and distrustful. You will never be what my first love was to me. You, only a liar. But you have hurt me...so deeply, and in such a way that I cannot express. My eyes cry out from the pain of bearing all the tears that you have caused. You make my insides wither.

And now, Nightwish, my angel of music, let us fall into so deep a slumber from which I pray I never awaken.