Everything. You never know what you had or didn't until it's gone and someone else's. There aren't enough tears inside me to express my pain. I feel ludicrous just thinking it, but this seems to get worse with every passing day. All I keep thinking is "What did I do? Why did this happen? It won't get better, and it's my fault. I hate myself."
I felt like dying today.
The woman from the pro-life group at my college was harassing me today, and pointing out how your baby's heart starts beating at 24 days, and that you can determine gender so early now. She said it was wrong to abort, and that it's a horrible crime to kill a baby. I entered a stage of advanced depression at this point. Last year, I miscarried about a month and a half into my pregnancy. I know a lot of people will say it wasn't my fault, but nothing can make me feel better about it. I feel as though I killed an innocent child, and now there is nothing I can do, no one I can apologize to.
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