The first week of being single in almost five months...is horrible. I miss cuddling, random car trips, watching movies together, holding hands, kisses...everything. I mean, sure, I'm FREE to do what I want. But...sometimes being taken is more than that. I guess it's really true that you never really know what you have until you don't have it anymore.
I want to make unhappy smiley faces, but I'm really trying not to do all the internet-speak on this blog.
My first boyfriend is coming to see me this week; I've missed him a lot. I'm excited, and am kind of torn between feeling guilty for being excited, and remembering that I'm single and don't have to feel guilty. I really don't know what to feel at this point. I kind of just want to live for me right now. Maybe enjoy my life a little bit, instead of constantly feeling depressed. "Live in the now," and all that jazz.
On a new note, I am learning an Eminem song...something I thought I would never do. It's amusing, really, all the things we never thought we would do when we were kids....we end up doing them. Or that's my opinion at least. Also, I dyed my hair pink, hot red, and purple. I needed a change so badly. More than that now, though, I need to get out of my parents' house. It feels like I am losing my mind here. I went car-shopping on Saturday, and intend to go again, as soon as I can.
In addition, I would like to discuss the jumble of thoughts that are running haphazardly through my mind. If they don't make sense, I apologize. I feel the need to finish my Nightwish collage, and possibly modify it with new pictures, to include Halestorm, because that is the yin to its yang. He is the sun, and I am the moon. The moon is nothing without the sun; how else would it be seen, for it only reflects the sun's light...is it wrong to walk in the sun? I brought one half of this music to the table; he brought the other. Together we are complete.
I would give the whole world to be forever yours, meleth nin.
*dedicated to the blameless one* Perhaps now my dreams will be less haunted.
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